“Hey Hero, you’re black, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“So, legally, you can say the n-word right?”

“...Dagger, if you’re asking for the n-pass, I’m not giving it to you.”

“...I’ll tell them your name.”

“You better not.”

*Smirks* “His name is—”

*Holding a sign*

“Dude, what the buck are you doing?”

“Advocating for no more Dagger abuse.”

“But... you bring it upon yourself.”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Whatever...”

*Looks at Dagger* “Hey Dag, are you patriotic?”

“No. I’m...” *Turns to the Reader* “Patridotic.”

“...I don’t get the punchline.”

“Me neither.”

“Yaks got back!”

A few years into the future, Mantis has decided something that shocked Dagger.

“You what?!”

Mantis blushed and nodded. “I wanna have kids...”

Dagger blushed furiously. “But... how? I mean, you’re a dude, you can’t even get pregnant. Even if I laid an egg, you sure wouldn’t lay it and it sure as heck wouldn’t hatch...”

Mantis blushed just as hard. “Well...” he transformed into a female version of himself.

“Eep...” Dagger squeaked.

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Broken looked at Dagger, then at his playing card. “Okay, so your task is to blow a job interview in like the first thirty seconds, how do you do it?”

Dagger thought for a bit, then asked, “how strict is the sexual harassment policy?”

Broken blinked. “Hol’up.”

Broken ran up to Dagger, who was throwing out empty boxes. “Hey Dag?”

“Hm?” Dagger put one of the boxes down.

“I need help.”

“With what?”

Broken blushed. “Well, I wanna surprise Rose with something, but I don’t know what to give her.”

“Hm... I have an idea.” Dagger picked a box. “Just follow these steps, one: cut a hole in a box, two, put ya junk in that box, three, make her open the box, and that’s the way you do it, it’s my dick in a box!”

“Dagger... you are messed up...”

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Dagger sighed and looked at Mantis, who was busy fixing a new attachment to his crossbow.

“I dunno... I’ve tried my luck with girls, but it always goes wrong...” Dagger said.

Mantis looked over. “Aren’t you bi? Why haven’t you tried boys?”

“I... uh...” Dagger blushed. “I hadn’t thought of that...”

Mantis facehoofed. “Really?”

“S-Shut up man...”

“Dude, I’m pretty sure if you tried using the other side of your sexuality, you’ll have better results.”

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Dagger was sitting on the couch, texting Mantis.

Heheh you mean baby right?

Dagger snickered. There was no way this prank could fail.

“Uh Daggy?”

Dagger looked up to see Mantis staring at him from the kitchen.

“That prank doesn’t work if I’m like a few feet away from you.”

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(Before Dagger and Mantis got together)

Dagger looked through a pair of binoculars. “Heheh... yeah, that’s it...”

Hive walked up. “Stalking Cadance and Shining again?”

Dagger looked over. “I like to call it, ‘observing the mating habits of ponies’.”

“Yeaaah, that’s just stalking,” Hive said, facehoofing. “Look, I dunno what you see in Cadance, but I hope it’s worth all this...”

“Whatever...”

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“Hey Manty! Guess what!”

“What?”

“Guess who’s packin’ fifteen inches~”

*blush* “oh, that’s... that’s cool...”

“Yeah! So what’chu packin’?”

*blush harder* “Uh...”

*Leans down with measuring tape* “Let’s see, you are...” *blinks* “five inches?”

./////////////////////////////.

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“Hahaha!”

“What?”

“You have a freaking boner!” *Points at Hero’s no-no square*

“Dagger, we’re horses. When do we not have boners?”

“...Fair enough...”

Snow covered the land, making the soldiers feel colder then they'd ever been. Mantis took a peek from his covered position. As fast as lightning, he was struck. "I'm hit! I'm hit!"

Dagger looked over to his friend. He ran over to his friends aid. "Somebody get some ice for this guy!" Mantis looked at him. "What?"

Mantis pointed to the snow covering his stomach. "The ice is what hit me you idiot."

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Mantis stared at Dagger’s door. “Um... Dag? You okay? You’ve been crying for half an hour now.”

“Go away, Mant!”

Mantis sighed and picked the lock, walking in to see Dagger curled up in his blanket, sobbing. Mantis sighed and walked over. “Dagger? Are you... crying?”

“Yes!”

“Probably a stupid question, but why?”

“I just want someone to love! I’ve always been the shipper, but I’ve never been shipped!” He started wailing, burying his head in the pillow.

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*Hero looks down the sights of his crossbow, before firing...

...and missing* “Buck...”

*chuckling* “I would say your aim is cancer...” *he takes the crossbow and bullseyes the target* “...but cancer actually kills creatures.”

“...”

“Aw come on guys! Why can’t I choose the songs this time?!”

“Because!” Hero turned to him. “You made everyone at Sire’s Hollows hate us!”

“How’d I do that?”

*At the last show, Dagger choose to play this song. Suffice to say, the ponies of Sire’s Hollows were not happy*

*Minding his business*

“Heeey Hero.”

“Hey Dag.”

“So, you’re country, right?”

“Eh, a bit. Why?”

“Can you prove how country you are?”

“Sure. What should I do? Talk in my country accen—”

“I want you to bang your sibling.”

“...”

SMACK!

“Ow!”

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Zenex trotted over to Dagger. “Hey Dag! Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh, sure what is it?”

Zenex took a breath. “Well, you know how I’m thirteen and Flutterwings is twelve?”

“Yeah?”

“So, I’ll be eighteen when she’ll be seventeen, right?”

Dagger thought for a bit. “Well, yeah I believe so. If the math adds up and her birthday isn’t on a specific date, then yes.”

“So, I’ll legally be an adult and she’ll be a teenager?”

“Yes Zen, get to the point.”

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Here he is:

I had a lot of fun with this one. And as you can see, he has a chat bubble. (My handwriting isn't the best. Sorry)

Dagger and Mantis walked through the academy. Dagger was trying to remember what he was going to tell Mantis. After a while, he finally remembered what he was supposed to tell him.

“Dude, there was the biggest bucking nerd in your exact table yesterday.”

“...that was me with my goggles on...”